走在記憶和嚮往的雙向路途

是不夠獨立，不安全感纏繞在任何地方。

雖然不會因想家而哭，但是有時卻會思念，思念些什麼呢？其實我比較喜歡有自己的隱私，而且有奇怪的脾氣，又悶騷，對很多事情都看不過去，卻又缺乏大聲指責的勇氣，導致抑鬱在心中，卻又會讓氣氛感到尷尬。其實，了解自己很難，了解別人更難，世界上似乎沒有一件事情是容易的，也沒有隨自己想怎麼做就怎麼做的瀟灑可發揮之處。最近我認識很多人。如同花花說的，一直在認識別人，會很沒有安全感，而且和別人住在一起，也沒有自己的空間。當室友回家時，或房間只有自己一人，是回家的感覺。

我並不認為自己需要很多朋友，但是我很需要自己認為的朋友的陪伴，甚至是依賴。
我很任性，常常給周遭的人帶來麻煩，而且脾氣不是很好，陰晴不定的。
所以，如果我認為你是我的朋友，我就會把你當成是我真正的朋友，幾乎，我的一切及想法都會讓你知道，樂於與你分享。人與人的關係是有分疏離的，一定有比較親密的比較分開的，並不是刻意去分類，只是自然而然形成。 

我喜歡安靜的人，也喜歡活潑的人。
我覺得每個人都有需要安靜的時候，有時候安靜的氛圍為非常美麗的，是種享受，但非孤寂。
我不懂嘴巴一直開開合合一直講話的人，是在隱藏些什麼？什麼樣的不安？
而真正的朋友是在一起不講話也能不尷尬，自然而然的想著自己的事情。

最近，一直在想很多事情、每天都有太多刺激可觸發。
隨著厚重的課本發放下來，我覺得壓力也逐漸襲來。我很了解，自己的壓力來自於自己和自己的約定。我知道在這大學四年，要達成些什麼，而這當初是多麼沉重、抱著的心情，訂下的。

只有自己了解。

一直在追求完美的自己，該如何學會勇氣與獨立、如何擁有理解別人感受的溫柔、如何消除不安全感(除了自己的房間大概不會再有這樣的地方了吧)。就像用刺把自己全身包裹起來，又希望有人來幫忙卸下武裝，卻對幫助的人懷有敵意，一直存在的矛盾，盤繞著。

Hey,the little girl, you know it very much.
When your crying broke the silence eighteen years ago, you have stepped on the way called "LIFE".From then on,initially,you were protected by warm hugs from the family and always trusted the HAPPY-ENDING stories as well as the justice of "ALL EVIL THINGS  WILL BE DEFEATED BY HEROES IN THE END ".Howrever,the fence eventually broke. You saw the other side different from your own innocent castle.

You can not believe what others tell you before anymore even though they are your kind parents or intimate friends.Beacause sometimes, based on many reasons(some are white lies; others are just beneficial to themselves )even books or respected persons are trying to persuade you to agree their perspectives, concealing all the truths, you felt you live in an untrusted world. You have no idea whether to pretend to believe or not. And there seems to have no straight and strong rules which direct you to go on the right path. Therefore, the insecurity are always filled with the surroundings.

What can you do to deal with it?
You are only 18,and there is a long way waiting for your arrival. It’s not enjoyful due to many possible difficulty as well as challenges. You grow up. Having already learned to read others' mind instead of their shallow expressions or words on the surface.

Hey,the little girl, I still hope your understanding.
Although the life you live cannot be at your will, you have to make the life better. Now since you belong to human beings, you are granted to have the life course to go on. It’s your responsibility. You know when you get older, there are many sorrowful and painful things in front of you to face.Nonetheless,you are only 18.There still are many things to explore and you have lots of opportunities to change.

So, don't feel discouraged, AND BE BRAVE.
You are not alone.